The late Paul Reubens, aka Pee-wee Herman, is defining himself after years of speculation about the star’s sexuality.
Reubens reveals he was gay in the new two-part docuseries “Pee-wee as Himself,” which made its debut Thursday night at Sundance Film Festival in Salt Lake City. It’s slated to air on HBO and Max later this year.
“I was as out as you could be, and then I went back in the closet,” Reubens says in the documentary. “My career would have absolutely suffered if I was openly gay, so I went to great lengths for many, many years to keep it a secret.”
e sat down for 40 hours of interviews with director Matt Wolf for the documentary, which includes Reubens discussing his relationship with Guy, a painter he lived with in Los Angeles in the 1970s.
The actor chose his professional life over his personal life, and reveals that years after they broke up, Reubens visited Guy just before he died from AIDS. “To talk about seeing someone at death’s door, that’s what that was,” Reubens says. He adds that in the 1980s, AIDS “scared the heck out of me.”
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Reubens also tells a story of when he came out to his parents, and how his father wrote him an “incredible” letter: “Son, if you’re homosexual, I want you to know that I hope you can be the greatest homosexual you can be.”
The documentary also delves into Reubens’ public controversies, which included being arrested for masturbation in a movie theater, possessing child pornography and agreeing to be registered as a sex offender.
More than anything, the reason I wanted to make a documentary was to let people see who I really am and how painful and difficult it was to be labeled something that I wasn’t,” he said in the film, according to the Los Angeles Times. Being labeled a pedophile changed “everything moving forward and backwards.”
“Paul told me that he had decided he was ready to come out,” Wolf, the filmmaker behind the documentary, confirmed in a statement shared with USA TODAY. “Since he had been extremely private throughout his life, talking about his sexuality was probably the most sensitive thing we had to navigate together.”
“I’m gay and I’ve made several films about queer history, so I empathize with the experiences of artists and entertainers like Paul from different generations,” Wolf said. “I wanted to let Paul discuss his experience as a gay person and as a closeted person on his own terms, and he did so beautifully.”
Reubens, 70, died in 2023 after a six-year secret battle with cancer. The estate of the children’s entertainer confirmed news of his death on his official Instagram page.
